I Cherish Your Heart Read online

  He moved away moments later, his eyes dark with lust. I knew I’d flipped a switch that his need for me had grown within that one kiss. I needed him too. It had been so long, my body yearned to be locked against his, to feel that moment of euphoria over and over. But right here in my bedroom with my mother within earshot. Yeah, that definitely wasn’t happening and from the look of discontent on Joel’s face, he knew it too.

  He jumped up from the bed and began pacing, dragging his hands down his face. The bulge in his jeans was only too noticeable. My eyes locked on it, and my mouth watered.

  God, I had it bad, real bad.

  “Izzy, stop staring.” Joel chuckled.

  My head snapped up to meet his amused filled eyes. Oh god, caught again, but it was totally worth it.

  “I can’t help it, I want you so bad.” I groaned, unable to hide my desperation.

  The amused smirk instantly dropped from his face, and his eyes darkened. “I know, but we can’t . . .” The pained look that crossed his face told me he was barely hanging on by a thread. He took a deep breath before storming out the room. I guess a cold shower was in order.

  * * *

  The soft knock against the door was enough to send a chill right through me. Within seconds I was face to face with a brother I barely recognised. His eyes were all bloodshot and unfocused. The look he gave me was one of a cornered animal. He shook ever so slightly, his body looked thinner, his face was gaunt, looking like he hadn’t slept in weeks. I guess everything they said was true. He licked his lips barely able to give me any eye contact. His fingers nervously picked at his jeans, as he stood in front of me, looking haunted. My heart broke to see him in such a state. I knew in my heart I couldn’t let my hatred towards him continue for a moment longer.

  I lifted my hand, my fingers slowly reaching out to him, in a gesture of forgiveness. Mike’s eyes stayed locked on my hand, he shivered slightly looking bewildered by my actions. Until his own hand slowly linked with my own. His fingers softly stroked my skin before he landed in a heap, dropping down on his knees, burying his face deep into my lap. Huge sobs raked through him as I stroked and whispered soothing, loving words, watching all the pain and misery slowly seep out of him.

  After a while the sobs slowly subsided, Mike pulled back slightly and wiped his face using the back of his hand slowly turning to look at me. “Iz,” he croaked, desperation in his eyes as he struggled to find the words.

  “Shh Mike, it’s okay, I know. Let’s try to move on from all this hurt and pain. Clean slate, okay?”

  His lips lifted slightly at my words but then quickly his face was swallowed by a frown. “But Iz, how can you . . . after all I did?”

  I quickly looked away, composing myself for a few moments, actually wondering if I could in fact start a fresh, but the broken man in front of me told me I could. I couldn’t bear to see him like this a moment longer, so haunted and void of any life. It was time to forgive, but in my head, I would never truly forget the impact of his deceit.

  “Mike, we need to move on. What you did, well . . . it’s something I’ll never truly forget, but I forgive you. As my brother I want us to move on, for you to live again without being weighed down with the torment.”

  “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Iz.” He made to pull away, but I grabbed his hand and squeezed it, watching his haunted eyes slowly find mine.

  “But I’m giving you it. Stop the drinking, Mike, not only are you hurting yourself but everyone else around you. You need to start living. I want to recognise my brother again. You’re just a shadow of yourself and it breaks my heart to see you going down this self destructive path.” My eyes filled with tears. I needed him to listen to my words, to take it all in and return to the annoying older brother that I’d always loved.

  “Okay,” he whispered.

  “Promise me something, Mike?”

  His eyes locked onto mine, giving me such a look of sincerity. “Anything.”

  “That after you leave here, you’ll take a shower.”

  A huge smile broke out over his face, and I chuckled loudly at his face. “Do I really smell that—?”

  “Yes.” I broke out into laughter when his fingers latched on to my ribs as he began torturously tickling the life out of me. Thankfully he pulled away moments later, and I slowly felt the air return to my lungs.

  “So we’re good, Iz?” he asked, still a little uncertain as I smiled back.

  “We’re good.”

  Mike let out a huge sigh of relief. “Love you, little sis.” His voice broke at the end, and his eyes glazed over with unshed tears.

  I squeezed his hand, touched by his display of emotion. “Love you too.”

  He quickly stood up, swiping away the tear that had slowly escaped. “Well, I’d better take that shower then.” He grinned, heading out the door.

  I relaxed back into the pillow feeling a hundred times lighter. The burden and hate had instantly disappeared the moment he’d walked through the door. I was now filled with a level of peace, but it wouldn’t last long. We’d soon be fighting like cats and dogs, and I welcomed it. The sooner things returned to normal the better.

  Chapter 11– Chocolate Thief

  The sound of Elijah shrieking in the hallway had me smiling and rolling my eyes. He always knew how to make an entrance. I could hear my mother’s mumbled voice before the door opened to reveal Elijah’s smiling face.

  It was a welcoming sight to see him again. The smile never left his face, but I could see a little sadness flash in his eyes. The look instantly had me pulling down on the hat I was wearing, trying hard to conceal the ugliness underneath it. Despite Joel’s words of reassurance, I couldn’t bear to look at it, learning to avoid all contact with mirrors as a way to keep me sane.

  Elijah sat beside me, his hand quickly grabbing mine, offering soothing strokes of reassurance with his fingers. “Hey Iz, god, it’s good to see you, sweetie. We’ve all been worried.” The pain radiating in his eyes was an indicator of the ordeal I’d put him through and guilt immediately consumed me.

  Elijah’s eyes flashed to mine. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed, pulling me into his muscular chest. I sighed, and my eyes filled with tears while his fingers gently stroked my back. “But damn, sweetie, haven’t you heard of the green cross code? We learned that shit in primary school, left, right then left again.

  I chuckled, slapping his chest playfully, moving back to see a smile touching his lips. He always had a way of bringing humour into the most serious of situations.

  “I kind of had other things on my mind.” I stuck out my tongue playfully.

  “Have you heard from college? Please tell me they are passing you for this year, I can’t go it alone, not with those bitches.”

  “Relax, they called and said they would rearrange my practical exam for after my cast was removed. My grades are really good so they see no problem with me completing the semester, well as long as the practical goes well.” I could feel my heartrate pick up at the thought of it. What if there was a complication with my leg? The doctors had reassured me it was a clean break, but my mind always wandered over to that dark place.

  “Hey, it will, I’ll make sure you’re in tip-top condition. I need my Izzy by my side,” he soothed, grabbing my hands to stroke them reassuringly.

  “I’ve worked too hard this year to fail.” I frowned at the thought of it, that wasn’t even an option.

  “Yeah, you have become the class swot.” He nudged me playfully.

  “Well, I had to keep my mind preoccupied. The only thing that kept me sane was focusing on my college work.”

  Elijah’s face dropped at my words. “I know, but look how it’s all worked out good in the end.”

  “Yeah, but I would have preferred an easier route.” I replied, wincing as I touched my head.

  “Well, you never do things by halves.”

  I snorted. “Ain’t that the truth?”

  “Speaking of which, I want all the details and no skim
ming,” he warned, pursing his lips.

  My eyes instantly widened in surprise. “Didn’t Mike fill you in?”

  “Err, you know what men are like, he gave me the basics, but you know I’m all about the details, so spill and just before we start I need to get us ready.” He leaned into his bag, pulling out a monster size box of Maltesers that had my face automatically lighting up. Holy shit, I was in chocolate heaven. God, I loved him even more.

  He puffed up my pillows, and I ripped open the box eagerly helping myself to the contents inside. After the tenth one, Elijah pursed his lips and removed the box from my hands. I pouted but I knew it was for the best, I was pretty sure I’d clear the box.

  He snuggled in beside me, nestling me in so my head rested against his chest, I took a deep sigh and then began to regale every detail of my ordeal.

  * * *

  I awoke a while later to find Elijah had gone with Joel now lying in his place. After telling Elijah everything, he had soothed me and held me close while the tears fell. When they eventually subsided, we lost ourselves in The Notebook, and I eventually fell into a chocolate coma.

  “I wondered when you were going to wake up.” He smiled, lifting my chin to place a soft kiss against my lips. I sighed. Those lips were my undoing. He pulled away before I could take it deeper, and I pouted as he chuckled, slipping a handful of Maltesers into his mouth.

  I quickly sat up. “Errr, what do you think you’re doing?” I asked annoyed as hell, watching a wicked grin spread across his face.

  “Having some Maltesers,” he remarked before pushing some more of the contents into his mouth. I grabbed the box and one solitary Malteser rolled around as the room filled with an eerie silence. Joel’s eyes widened as mine narrowed.

  Goddamn chocolate thief.

  “Do you care to explain?” I didn’t need an answer, I knew half the box was sitting inside that stomach. Which remarkably stayed as hard as ever. How he managed to maintain those abs was a mystery with the amount of food he put away.

  “There was only a few . . .”

  “You liar.”

  He chuckled at my lame attempt to wrestle him. The cast restricted my movements, but it was useless within moments I was flat on my back with Joel pressed up against me. “Calm down, baby, what’s yours is mine.” He winked, quickly moving in, but I refused to kiss the chocolate thief. He nuzzled into my neck, whispering into my ear. “I need those lips, baby, you can’t deny me them.” He pleaded but I wasn’t about to relent, no matter how badly they drove me wild.

  “Nope, you have to pay the price for your own greed.”

  He pouted. Bloody hell I was about to immediately go back on my word and kiss him for all he was worth.

  “And how can I make amends, baby?” His nose brushed up against mine as shivers coursed through every part of my body. I gasped tasting his sweet breath barely inches from mine.

  “You can start by replacing what you stole.” Oh god, I was losing control, my eyes flicked down to his lips, and I knew I was gone. Joel registered my weakness slowly unfolding in front of him.

  “Of course . . .” he breathed, his voice causing the cracks to smash into my pieces. My self-control was practically flying out the window, but I wanted to get my own back. To tease him like he had done with me.

  “And . . .”

  His eyebrow quirked up in intrigue. “Yes, go ahead . . .”

  “You have to do everything I tell you.”

  A grin spread across his face. “Everything . . . okay, care to elaborate?”

  “Well, it’s going to involve hours and hours of you giving me endless amounts of pleasure.” He immediately twitched, hitting me in the right place. I groaned, feeling the familiar sensation set my body on fire.

  “That I can do, what are my orders today, madam?”

  I giggled at the sultry tone of his voice. His eyes were blazing with lust, which only aided in igniting me even more. I wanted him so bad.

  “I need you to pay special attention to my favourite spot.” I arched my neck indicating where he needed to be. Yes, just there. The part where his lips always drove me wild.

  He chuckled, his lips vibrating against my skin. I sighed in contentment with the sensation of Joel’s lips undoing me in every way possible. He was good, too good. He should be given an award for the pleasure he was giving me. I wanted more, so much more, but with my mother and Mike downstairs that wasn’t an option. I gasped, feeling his finger graze against my skin, working their way leisurely down my body. My breath hitched when they moved underneath the satin material, slowly making their way to where I needed him the most.

  Oh my.

  My breath came in short, soft bursts while his fingers undid me with every stroke. His lips never left my skin as he teased and drove me slowly towards an orgasm. I tightened around his fingers and a loud groan left my lips. Joel quickly covered my mouth, swallowing my moans, slowly winding down so my body could enjoy the sensations of the aftershocks.

  Joel pulled away smiling. He knew he was good without saying a word. He pressed his lips up against my swollen ones that ached from all the biting to suppress how vocally he made me feel.

  My eyes remained closed as he continued to kiss every single inch of my face. “Did I do okay, madam?” The teasing tone of his voice had me smiling. He knew he’d done well, but I wasn’t about to boost that ego.

  “It was fine.”

  Ha, take that!

  Joel’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Just fine?” I could see the sparkle of amusement in his eyes. He knew he was good.

  “Yeah, but next time you need to take it to the next level, a girl expects more from her slave.”

  “Slave?” he asked in amusement.

  “Yeah, pleasure slave.”

  He chuckled as his lips pressed against my ear. “Then I’d better serve you well, madam.”

  I shivered when his warm breath tickled against my skin. “Yes, slave, you better had, or there will be punishment,” I replied, adding a more masterful edge to my voice so he knew I meant business.

  “What kind of punishment?” Excitement laced his voice and his eyes widened in anticipation.

  Oh I’d certainly piqued his interest. “You’ll find out soon enough, if you don’t fulfil my every need.” I patted his cheek and a grin spread across his face.

  “But I kind of want to know.”

  “Trust me, pleasing me is your better option. Now I want your lips on me.”

  “Yes, madam.” He saluted.

  I giggled at his sharp tone of voice like he was in the military. His tongue pushed its way inside and entangled with my own, undoing me over and over again.

  * * *

  “Did I tell you about my Channing dream?” Elijah mumbled through a huge mouthful of popcorn. We were halfway through watching The Vow, so I guess with Channing on screen it must have triggered his memory. I instantly hit pause and sat up with intrigue. “No, so let’s have all the details.”

  Elijah placed the bowl down and turned towards me. By the way he was getting comfortable, it must have been a pretty detailed dream. “Well, you know how Sam and I have our fantasy threesomes.”

  I rolled my eyes remembering how he’d told me about them months ago, and how he’d actually had the cheek to include Joel on the list. After some persuasion, he’d reluctantly withdrawn him, but it still stung to know my boyfriend was one of his sexual fantasies.

  “Yes, go on,” I bit out, not wanting that memory to linger any longer than need be.

  “Well, Channing became our third and well, Iz, you know I have a good imagination.”

  Meaning a very dirty imagination.

  “Yes . . .” I was dreading what was coming next. With Elijah’s mind it could go either way.

  “Well, I tell you he was perfect, every single inch of him.” He winked in a knowing way, leaving the words hanging in the air.

  “And . . . how big?”

  He placed his hand on his chest in mock horror. “Sweetie,
a gentleman cannot divulge that kind of information.”

  “Oh purlease, how many times have you embarrassed me with your many sex stories?”

  “True, but let’s just say, quite a mouthful.”

  Oh jeez.

  “And let’s just say my dream enhanced mine a little too. Not that I’m not happy with what god gave me.”

  My eyes instantly flashed to the bulge in his trousers, and my cheeks automatically flushed.

  “Eyes up here, sweetie,” he teased with a grin catching me outright looking at his tackle.

  And now they flushed even deeper.

  “Anyway, I was grateful for the extra couple of inches, because I wanted to look good in front of Channing.” He grinned and I chuckled. Even in his dream like state, he craved perfection, which was just so typical Elijah.

  “So . . .”

  “Oh, I was amazing, sweetie, outstanding even. Channing said I was the best.” He grinned like the whole compliment was actually real.

  Seriously?

  Even in his dreams, his ego demanded compliments.

  “Was Channing good?”

  Elijah swiped his tongue along his lips like he was salivating at the memory. “So good, best dream threesome I’ve ever had. He’s seriously missing out; we could have more amazing times together.”

  “You do know Channing isn’t gay?”

  He pursed his lips looking thoroughly disgruntled by the reality. He sighed hard, looking me deep in the eye. “Yeah, I know, but I wouldn’t mind trying to persuade him to think differently.” The playful tone in his voice had me chuckling. I had no doubt given the opportunity he would definitely want to test that theory.

  Picking up the popcorn, he lay back down, hitting the pause button again.

  “But seriously though, Iz, what is with this chick? If I woke up from a coma and found out Channing was my husband, I wouldn’t question it for a moment. Girlfriend needs her head tested. I’d happily go along with it.”