I Cherish Your Heart Read online

  Ryan sensed a change in my mood, but he never once questioned it, leaving it for in my own time to speak about it.

  Elijah on the other hand seemed to go out of his way to antagonise me. He was about to move in with Sam into their first home together so I had to grin and bear it, despite countless interior magazines being shoved under my nose. He even had a flip chart of colours, always incessantly asking which colour I preferred. Right now I couldn’t have give a rats arse but I had to make some kind of effort, it was his first home with Sam. So I joined in giving my opinion on each and every swatch until I practically could see no more. Each colour began to merge with the other, in the end I was almost seeing spots, just grateful for a reprieve when Sam had rang to meet up. I had gratefully waved him off, enjoying the silence that followed after.

  My head snapped up at the sound of the door opening, Joel peeped around, frowning slightly in response to the scowl on my face.

  “Hey, what’s with the face?” he asked, his eyes stared deep into mine, filled with concern.

  That was a cheek; he hadn’t been concerned about me for a long while.

  “Nothing, I’m fine.” I hobbled by him, grabbing my jacket using it as a distraction to avoid looking at him.

  “There’s something up, I thought you’d be over the moon to finally get that thing removed.”

  It was true, I should have been, but Joel’s behaviour had soured my mood and nothing seemed like it would ever sweeten it.

  “Everything’s fine, I’m surprised you have the time to even ask.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He knew what I meant.

  “I don’t have time to argue. I have to be at the hospital in thirty minutes.” I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder, quickly checking the contents inside so I had everything.

  “That’s why I’m here to take you.” He moved to pull me in for a hug, but I sidestepped him, it was too little too late.

  “I’m fine, I can get a taxi.” I wasn’t about to be a burden to him.

  “I took the day off especially, Iz, don’t be like this, I want to go with you.”

  It would be far easier to say yes, even though right now I could have happily put a lot of distance between us.

  “Fine, but we need to go now.” I hobbled by him, not even sparing him a glance. I wasn’t in the mood to be appreciative of his offer, the sooner this was over the better.

  The car ride to the hospital was silent. My mood was beyond glacial. Joel quickly turned on the radio to inject some life into the suffocating air. My head turned towards the window the whole time. I was in no mood for talking, his actions had told me all I needed to know.

  We were sat waiting an age to be seen, Joel made several trips to the coffee machine, only aiding in amping up his nervous energy. I sat staring at my Kindle screen, but no words were going in but to Joel it looked like I was otherwise occupied. I was silently grateful the moment the nurse shouted my name, Joel’s shaking leg almost had me on the brink of combustion.

  He leapt up too, but my glare soon had him sitting back down. “I’ll wait here then I suppose.” He flopped back down, the frown instantly taking over his face.

  “Just go I can make my own way home,” I snapped, not even bothering to wait for an answer.

  Thirty minutes later I was cast free, but my face dropped seeing Joel sat still waiting. My reaction hadn’t gone unnoticed and he frowned again, his eyes searching mine for an answer.

  “Hey, you’re finally free,” he remarked chuckling, even though it was slightly forced.

  “Looks like it,” I retorted, my eyes scanning the walls for directions as I hobbled back outside.

  Joel walked alongside me, the sun felt good against my face, but it did little to thaw my glacial mood.

  I could feel the tension bubbling away with each step. I just wanted to be free of this torment, if he was tired of me and wanted out then he should just say it and spare us any more of this agony.

  He unlocked the car, hesitant to help but my glare told him to back off. I closed my eyes hearing the engine switch on. He turned the dial down so the music was playing softly in the background. I rubbed my temples willing the imminent headache to go away.

  “Iz, we’re here,” he said softly. I quickly jerked awake surprised I had fallen asleep so quickly. I sat up looking around in surprise as these weren’t my usual surroundings. In fact I didn’t recognise it at all, well not at first.

  “Is that your house, Joel?” I rubbed my eyes again wondering if they were deceiving me, or was I still dreaming?

  “No, Iz, it’s ours.”

  I spun around in surprise. “What do you mean it’s ours?”

  A smile crept over his face. “Surprise,” he simply said.

  “What?” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

  He lifted my hand, placing a gentle kiss against the skin. “Come with me, I want to show you my secret.”

  He slipped his hand out of mine, opening the door, within moments he was by mine, guiding me out.

  “Joel, what is happening? How can we afford—”

  He silenced me with a kiss. My fingers entwined into his hair as I responded with my mouth fully locked onto his.

  God, I had missed him.

  He pulled back moments later, almost breathless, keeping his forehead pressed against mine. To give himself a few moments to compose himself.

  “My dad signed the house over to me. It’s mine, well, I want it to be ours.” He looked unsure at the last part, and I wasn’t surprised, my behaviour towards him lately had been frosty to say the least.

  “Why did he do that?”

  “He’s moved permanently to Southampton to live with my uncle, I think it was Robert behind it all. When I spoke to him afterwards he said that it was the least he could have done. So now it’s ours, well, that’s if you still want to be with me.” His eyes flashed to mine uncertain, I could see fear building inside.

  I had been such a fool.

  I grabbed him, crashing my lips against his. Words would come later, right now this was where I needed to be with him in this moment.

  We pulled back seconds later, gasping for breath, both panting together. “I take that as a yes then?” He chuckled, pulling me close, nuzzling his face into my hair. “Of course it’s a yes. You’ve just made me the happiest woman on the planet, but then I did go from thinking you were moments away from ending it with me.”

  He pulled me back to look into my eyes. “Why the hell did you think I was finishing with you?”

  My eyes widened and I bit my lip, thinking back to all those times when I was filled with rejection. All those pieces were beginning to take shape, and now I looked like a complete fool for ever thinking them.

  “You’ve barely spent any time with me, I thought I was a burden that you’d grown tired of, that you no longer . . .” I couldn’t say the rest, the words were too hard to think, never mind say.

  “Hey,” he soothed, drawing me in close so I was enveloped in his arms. “That’s never going to happen. I don’t function without you, you’re the reason I breathe, the reason my heart takes each and every beat. I love you with every fibre of my body, you’re my whole world, and I don’t want to exist in one where I can’t be with you.”

  “Wow,” I whispered.

  He truly does love me.

  “So you finally get it?”

  “Well you can be pretty persuasive, your sweet words almost had me swooning.”

  “It’s a good job that I’m here to catch you.” He winked, and I giggled as he manoeuvred me so I was pressed tight against him. “You, me, forever, remember?”

  I sighed against his lips. “Yes, forever sounds good to me.”

  “So let me show you around our new home.”

  I squealed with excitement. Could this really be happening?

  He leaned in opening the fancy, rich, black iron gate with all its curves and flicks, it reminded me of something more Victorian. It was mi
ghtily impressive and a massive improvement on the half-battered gate, that had been barely dropping to pieces. “After you, madam.”

  I grinned when he bowed down in a gentlemanly manner. He really was too cute. He closely followed me behind, pulling me into him. I gazed on in amazement at the beauty of the garden. There were fresh pots of flowers in all the colours I could ever imagine dotted along the path. The lawn that was almost jungle like was trimmed short in various lengths to give it a striped finish.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked, leaning around to kiss my cheek.

  “It’s beautiful,” I whispered. It truly was.

  “We’ve had a new door fitted and windows.”

  My eyes snapped up to see a shiny, new black front door. It was Victorian in style, very in-keeping with the gate. The brass door handle and knocker only complimented the rich, stark colour. The windows were sparkling new in comparison to the ones I had been faced with only months earlier. The whole house had been given a whole new facelift.

  But how?

  How could he afford this?

  I spun around in confusion, Joel’s eyes stared deep into mine. Watching as my brain continued to process it all. He smiled like he could almost see the cogs turning inside my head, trying to work it all out.

  “It was your dad who paid for all this,” he simply said, while I still continued to do my best goldfish act.

  “My dad?” I asked confused.

  “He wanted to make up for all that lost time. I told him the house was mine, that it was in need of serious repair and that I just wanted to give you the home you deserved.”

  “But you know I’d live in a cardboard box if it meant being with you, I don’t need all the add-ons.”

  “I know and I love you more for that, but I wanted to give you a home that you could be proud of. Your dad stepped up and I told him no, that I wanted to be the one to provide for you. But the look he gave me, I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, that it was like a healing process for him to make up for all those lost years. He’s still heartbroken, but doing this for you has helped to mend those pieces, he only wants your happiness.”

  “I’m speechless.” I truly was for the first time ever.

  Joel nuzzled into my neck, lightly biting my skin causing me to shiver. “Do you want to see inside?”

  “Of course.” I grinned. He slung his arm over me, guiding me up the path as excitement bubbled through every pore.

  Was this really happening?

  “Close your eyes, Iz.” He laughed when I rolled my own. “Just do it, baby, for me.” He pouted slightly and a wave of heat ran through me, god, those lips would be my total undoing.

  I took a deep breath and became surrounded by darkness. Joel brushed up against me, and I heard the turn of the lock. He motioned me forward through the door. Once inside my head was filled with a beautiful vanilla scent. I smiled at the fact he always remembered the little things I loved.

  His lips brushed up against my hair and his arms encircled me, drawing me back into him. “Open,” he whispered.

  My eyes fluttered open faced with a room decorated exactly to my taste. Everything down to the finest detail was perfect. “But how?” I asked perplexed by the fact someone had managed to achieve something so accurate without my knowledge.

  “Elijah.” Joel chuckled.

  Who else?

  “Do you remember the day he came and pestered you about colour schemes and furniture layouts? Well, he was pretending it was for his flat so he could secretly get you to unknowingly reveal everything without giving the game away.”

  Wow. “That boy is good.” Too good, but I loved him even more for his brilliant sneaky act.

  “Oh yeah, we definitely want to keep him on side, he’d make a great spy.”

  “So what do you think?” There was hesitation in his voice, but he didn’t need to worry, I was pretty much overwhelmed by it all.

  My eyes scanned the room taking it all in, from the red painted walls that were the ideal shade, to the rich, black leather sofa’s that looked perfect for hours of snuggling. The highly polished dark wooden floors were a dramatic improvement from the ingrained carpet that had been there before. The walls that had always stood bare were now filled with black and white prints of our time together. Joel’s trophies were now proudly out on display, and there stood in the corner was a large, dark wooden bookcase, which now housed all my favourite books.

  I spun around grabbing Joel’s face and kissed every inch before my mouth found his. He soon kissed me back with so much emotion before finally breaking free. “How did you find time to do this without me knowing?”

  He smiled and a flash of guilt crossed his face. “I kind of lied when I said I was doing extra shifts, in fact I took a week off so we could really get stuck in. Elijah, Sam, Mike and your dad mainly helped, but I did rally some of the guys from football to come and paint. Your dad has been brilliant. I said I wanted to pay for some things but he told me no, he said the greatest way he could ever repay him would be to take care of his beautiful daughter.”

  Tears filled my eyes, I couldn’t believe the love that filled the room. It was everything I ever hoped for to have Joel and my dad in my life.

  “Hey, I hope those are happy tears?” His face scrunched with concern, but I didn’t provide him with an answer, instantly crashing my lips against his, telling him over and over how much I loved him between kisses.

  Joel guided me through the rest of the house to reveal each room had the ideal colour scheme and furnishings. I couldn’t have planned it better if I’d done it myself. When we got to the last room in the house Joel smiled. “Are you ready to see our room?”

  I nodded staying silent, slightly hesitant in case Elijah had gone wild, after all his sex talk I hoped he’d kept it reasonably to my taste.

  Joel pushed open the door, and my breath hitched as I took in the beautiful surroundings. The walls were painted in a rich, deep purple, adorned with black and white pictures of Joel and I in various poses. They were shots that had been taken over the last summer and magnified so they only revealed certain angles of the photograph. They were very art-like, and I knew Elijah was behind it all, he was just unbelievable. Then my eyes focused on the bed with a silver headboard, entwined around the metal were flowers and butterflies, almost identical to the frame that resided by my bed. It was perfect, and my eyes filled with tears at the thought of how much effort Elijah had put in to make this my dream home.

  “What do you think?” Joel asked, his lips pressing sweet kisses along my neck as the air left my body.

  I leaned back against him before I lost complete control. “I want you so much,” he whispered, his kisses becoming more urgent as he teased my skin.

  A soft moan escaped me, god, I wanted him too, more than ever. “I need you, Joel.” I’d barely gotten the words out when he spun me around crashing his lips against mine. He lifted me and I made to wrap my legs around his waist, but then screamed with the sudden pain that ripped through my leg.

  “Oh god, Iz, are you okay?” He placed me down on the bed, his eyes scanning my face with worry.

  I grabbed his shirt, dragging him down on top of me. “I’m just a little sore, but it’s not stopping me from being with you.

  A look flashed across his face with the internal struggle of which decision to make. But I wasn’t waiting a moment longer.

  “I want you to help me christen the bed.” I raised my eyebrow teasingly, watching the smile spread across his face.

  “Oh I think I can help you with that.”

  I giggled at the look he shot me, it was one filled with so much hunger it sent shivers through every part of me.

  I groaned the moment his mouth touched my sweet spot, his lips sucking against my skin. I lifted my chin to give him more access as he slowly began to undo me.

  “Do you like that, baby?”

  I moaned my reply, words were not needed right now. His lips vibrated against my skin with laughte
r.

  “I need you, Joel,” I whispered. He pulled away and his eyes darkened with lust as he saw the need in my own.

  “Do you want me to take care of you, baby?”

  “Yes,” I breathed, closing my eyes.

  I felt the bed shift when Joel pushed himself up. Then felt warm hands graze against my skin when he slowly removed my trousers then underwear. He groaned when I spread my legs, quickly placing a cushion to support my injured leg.

  “Are you comfortable, baby?”

  “Joel, please . . .” My voice now filled with so much need. I just wanted him so much. His warm hands caressed my skin, and his lips kissed their way up my thigh until they reached that special place. My eyes rolled back taking in every sensation of complete pleasure. My fingers weaved into his hair as his tongue continued its sweet torture, undoing me like so many times before. I panted hard as a wave of ecstasy ran right through me, filling every pore.

  “Oh god . . .”

  My hands gripped his hair tighter, my eyes screwed tight in concentration. My body climbed higher and higher, he was officially killing me but what a way to die.

  “Joel . . . Joel . . .”

  Oh god, it felt good to scream again, without fear of my mother bursting through the door.

  Moments later he resurfaced like the cat that got the cream while I lay panting trying to get my breath back.

  “Did you enjoy that, baby?” Amusement spread across his face. He already had his answer.

  He knew he was good.

  “Mmmmm okay.”

  “Only okay? Are you sure about that?”

  He stroked his nose against mine teasingly as I tried to maintain a straight face. I failed almost instantly, feeling my mouth break out into a grin.

  “It was good but I want more, I want you now, Joel.”