I Cherish Your Heart Page 6

My eyes immediately flashed to the door awaiting his entrance. “Mike’s home. I think we can safely say the shit is about to hit the fan.”

  Concern grew in his voice. “Izzy, please, just leave it. I don’t want you to . . .”

  Mike burst through the door, his eyes immediately flashed to mine as I stood there frozen to the spot. “What the fuck are you doing in my room, Izzy? Hang on . . . is that my phone?”

  “Joel, I’ve got to go, I’ll be with you soon. Remember I love you.”

  Mike surged forward, his eyes widening at the mention of Joel’s name. “Joel? You’re talking to Joel?”

  “Izzy, please, don’t say anything you’ll regret,” he urged, the panic in his voice was evident, but I chose to ignore it.

  “I love you, Joel, and I’ll see you soon.” I hit the end call button, throwing the phone hard at Mike. The phone bounced off him before dropping to the ground. He shot me a look of disgust as he bent down to retrieve it.

  “Jesus, Izzy, that’s expensive.” He quickly inspected it to see if I had inflicted any damage to it.

  “I wished I’d smashed it into pieces and then it would match my heart right now.” He was the main cause of my torment, and yet all he was bothered about was his stupid phone.

  Sounds about right.

  He frowned at my words. “I only did it for you, Iz. He’s no good for you, you deserve better.”

  His pathetic explanation instantly made my blood boil. “Don’t you dare fucking tell me what I deserve. Who are you to decide what’s right for me? Joel leaving almost destroyed me, and for four long months I have lived this non existence, dead inside. You’ve watched me slowly fade away in front of your eyes, and you did nothing about that, despite the fact you held the key to my happiness. You chose to watch me become consumed by my own misery. Do me a favour and never speak to me again.” I marched off back to my own room, leaving a stunned looking Mike behind as I grabbed the holdall from the top of my wardrobe.

  “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Mike yelled, quickly gaining on me, the ferocity in his voice only helped in fanning the flames of fury even more.

  “To see Joel, where do you think?” God, he was fucking annoying, did he really need to ask? Wasn’t it obvious?

  “You’re not,” he snapped back. My anger surged at his audacity to try to even stop me.

  My eyes flashed to his. “Try to fucking stop me. You’ve kept me away from him for four months, you won’t do it again.”

  “I’m not letting you leave this house, Izzy. You’ll have to get through me first.”

  “If that’s the way you want to play it, Mike, then fine by me. Right now I welcome the opportunity to beat the shit out of you.” I charged by him, shoving him aside, striding into the bathroom to grab my toiletries. Realistically I didn’t know how long I would be away so I was just taking everything I could lay my hands on.

  “Stop this, Izzy, I’m not letting you go.”

  I could feel his hot breath against my neck, and I had to admire his nerve, adding more fuel to the fire with every word that came out of his stupid mouth.

  I ducked by him, running to my bedroom, quickly locking the door behind me. I was grateful for the fact my mother had relented, and allowed me to put a lock on my door after the incident at the party. It was a welcoming addition right now.

  Mike pounded hard on the door. I had visions of him bursting through any moment while I frantically shoved everything into the holdall. Checking my watch I had thirty minutes to get to the train, it was do-able if I left now. Mike was waiting by the door, that was pretty obvious, so that exit was no longer an option. I was going to have take the next available route.

  Pushing open the window, I flung my holdall down, and it landed with a dull thud onto the grass. I began manoeuvring both legs out onto the ledge and was thankful for the oak tree that stood beside my window; it was my escape route to Joel.

  My hands grasped onto the branches, the wood bit into my skin piercing it, making me hiss with the instant pain. I knew I had to suppress any form of sound so not to alert Mike of my leaving strategy. I was just grateful for my lean, dancer body as I negotiated my way down, finally jumping the last few feet. My feet had barely touched the grass before I started running, making my way down the driveway.

  Mike’s loud voice alerted me to the fact I hadn’t been as lucky as to go unnoticed. I picked up the pace, quickly breaking into a run as the holdall banged heavy against my hip. The cool breeze eased the intense heat as I panted hard. He was quickly gaining on me. I didn’t have to check the fact he was practically on my heels, but I wasn’t about to be captured. I would fight till my last breath to win my freedom to be with Joel. My lungs fought hard to circulate the air fast enough around my body, but I would never let him win.

  My foot dropped down from the kerb. I took in a deep breath, but within seconds a pain so ferocious ripped through my entire body. I was thrown high into the air, the bloodcurdling scream that left my lips only succeeded in growing louder the moment my head impacted with the glass on the windscreen. All the air left my lungs once again being thrown through the air, landing within seconds on the cold, hard ground. My brain struggled to deal with the pain that filled every part of my body. I could hear Mike’s screams in the background repeatedly shouting my name, but there was only one person I wanted as a lay lifeless while the darkness began to grow. My mouth twitched as a soft mumble left my lips.

  “I’m coming, Joel,” I whispered, feeling my breathing become shallower. “I’m coming.”

  Chapter 7 – Heaven

  I smiled feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin quickly spreading throughout my body, while waves gently lapped against the shore. Breathing in the fresh, salty air my serene calm quickly changed to panic upon discovering I was alone. I instantly sat up, ripping the sunglasses from my eyes, scanning the beach in desperation.

  Where was he?

  A sense of complete loss filled me before my eyes finally rested on the beautiful vision walking towards me in the distance. My jaw dropped just taking in the full effects, watching droplets of water trickle down that perfect, hard chest. He shook his hair, sending a spray of water into the air as I watched in awe the glorious vision before me.

  Holy shit.

  His smile began to grow, noticing my fixed stare but I didn’t care. I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to¸ the visual was far too enticing.

  My eyes dropped down to his shorts that clung against his muscular thighs as heat began to grow between my own.

  “Enjoying the view?” he asked, his eyes shining with obvious humour.

  “Always.” I bit my lip. I could seriously watch him all day.

  He flopped down onto the beach towel beside me, sighing in contentment, feeling the sun basking against his cool, soaked skin.

  “Good swim?” I asked, lying back down, placing my sunglasses over my eyes to dull the sun’s bright rays.

  “The best, you should have come with me.”

  “What and have you dunking my head under? No, thanks.”

  He chuckled at my response. “I think we could have done something better than that,” he remarked. My cheeks instantly flamed hearing his delicious words, even more so when he rolled on top of me.

  “Joel, you’re wet,” I squealed, feeling his cold skin tight up against me. He quickly silenced me pressing his lips against mine, slipping his tongue inside, and I sighed enjoying his salty, sweet taste.

  My fingers weaved between the wet strands of hair, locking him in tight, wanting to savour his mouth forever as our tongues entwined together. I groaned when he pulled back, and he chuckled, gently brushing his nose along mine.

  “I panicked when I woke up without you,” I whispered, suddenly remembering that sense of loss. I could hear the level of fear in my voice, thinking I’d once again been abandoned.

  He frowned at my words. “I would never leave you.” He kissed me softly all over like he was leaving little reassurances over every i
nch of my face.

  A soft moan of contentment left my lips as a mixture of weariness crept over me. “I love you, Joel,” I whispered, closing my eyes and breathed a sigh, waiting for him to respond with the words I so desperately needed to hear.

  But no reply came.

  “Joel?” My eyes snapped open and a wave of panic surged right through me. “Joel,” I shouted again as tears cascaded down my cheeks, despair filling my lungs with the realisation he’d left me, abandoned me so I was once again frozen inside my own living nightmare.

  * * *

  “Joel . . . Joel.”

  The sound of strange beeping in the background slowly roused me. My movement was constricted and every inch of me hurt.

  What the hell was going on?

  I willed myself to open my eyes, but they felt practically sewn shut.

  “Joel, please don’t leave me,” I croaked, begging him with every breath to stay, feeling a sense of abandonment wash over me once again.

  “Shhh Izzy, I’m here.”

  What?

  “Joel.”

  “Yes, it’s me,” he soothed.

  “Joel.” My voice filled with a level of surprise. I willed my eyes to open to check it wasn’t in fact my ears trying to deceive me.

  I felt his sweet, soft lips brush up against my forehead as his fingers softly caressed my cheek. “I’m here, Iz. Shh, you need to calm down,” he whispered.

  “Where am I?” I tried to lift my head, but the room instantly started to spin with the smallest of movements.

  “You’re in the hospital, Iz. You got run over. God, we’ve all been worried sick about you.” His voice trailed off into a whisper, but I could hear the fear it held with each syllable he spoke.

  Hospital?

  “How long have I been here?” My head was completely foggy. I was struggling to process barely a thought. Every part of me ached; the pain was so overwhelming.

  “Eight days.”

  Eight days!

  “What? Eight days?” I asked, confusion setting in once again.

  Surely not?

  There must be some mistake.

  “They had to put you into an induced coma. You’ve had a severe brain bleed. Your brain was so swollen that they had to knock you out to give it time to recover. The doctors said it was the only way to give you a chance.”

  Well, that would explain the excruciating sledgehammer pain to the head then.

  “You’re lucky to be here. God, when I think I could have lost you . . .” Tears dripped down onto my skin as he gently sobbed beside me. My hands weaved their way into his hair. I soothingly stroked my fingers through it, trying to offer him some comfort.

  I flicked my tongue across my lips, trying to process everything. “Where’s my mum?” I asked.

  Surely she should be here too?

  He lifted his head so his eyes met mine. “She went home over an hour ago. She’s been here the whole time, but she needed some sleep. She didn’t go willingly, but the nurses managed to coax her in the end. Speaking of which, I’d better let her know.”

  I grabbed Joel’s hand to stop him. “No, don’t do that, not when she’s just gone home, let her sleep. What time is it anyway?”

  His eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall. “Three a.m.”

  “How long have you been here?”

  He smiled lifting my hand, gently placing a kiss against my skin. “The whole time. I’ve stayed and held your hand, willing you to come back to me.”

  “You did?” I croaked, the emotion building in my voice at the thought of him sitting by side, praying for me to wake up. I winced with the pain, trying to manoeuvre myself so I could see him better.

  “Lie still, Izzy, try not to move.” He nuzzled his nose against my cheek, and I sighed in contentment at his close proximity.

  My eyes flashed open the moment his face left mine. “Joel,” I asked, alarmed at the loss of his touch.

  He pushed himself farther away much to my annoyance and stood up. “Iz, I need to tell the nurse that you’re awake. She told me to tell her the moment you woke up.”

  Panic surged through me. He was leaving me again. “Joel.” I tried in vain to sit up but was overcome by a piercing pain that ripped through my head. “Joel.”

  His eyes flashed to mine, I could see he looked conflicted yet he still continued to walk away. Every step made my heart beat more erratically. “Two seconds, Iz, and I’ll be back.”

  The door slammed shut behind him, instantly awakening my demons. Tears began to form as fear ripped right through me.

  He had gone.

  He had left me once again.

  The machines beside me beeped faster as my heart accelerated at the realisation. An ache filled my chest, and I struggled to breathe, feeling like I was slowly suffocating. A loud creak brought my attention back to a fast approaching Joel. His eyes flashed to mine as a look of panic crept over his face.

  “Izzy, calm down, I’m here.”

  I failed to draw breath as my lungs struggled with my restrictive airflow. I gasped looking at him as tears ran down my face.

  “Shh baby, breathe, you’ve got to breathe for me, I’m here. I’m never leaving you again.”

  The beeps slowly decreased with each reassuring kiss he placed over every inch of my face as a sense of calmness finally swept over me. He was here, and he was staying for good. The panic inside subsided the moment his lips pressed against mine, breathing life back into me. I smiled as the warmth spread throughout my body. It was heaven, my body wakening to his touch.

  “That’s it, baby, breathe, I’m here.”

  My hands gripped him tight; I never wanted to let him go. His intoxicating scent filled my head, and I sighed just breathing him all in.

  “Ahh Izzy, you’re awake, it’s good to finally meet you.”

  Joel broke away from me much to my annoyance, only to reveal a portly looking nurse heading towards me. She had the kind of face that looked relatively nice, but her eyes gave away the sense of you wouldn’t want to mess with her.

  “Hi,” I whispered, unable to say any more. My throat was still tight and sore. I licked my lips trying to provide some moisture, but it was to no avail, my mouth felt drier than the desert.

  “You’re very lucky to be here, young lady. You’ve had us worried. We need to do some tests. Joel, maybe you could step outside for a few minutes,” she urged, motioning with her eyes towards the door.

  The moment Joel’s hand slipped from mine, I grabbed it quickly interlacing it back with my own.

  He wasn’t leaving my sight. Ever.

  Joel frowned at my reaction as I pulled him in tighter. “Iz, I’ll just be outside.” He tried to soothe me, his eyes staring deep into mine, but it was no good. I couldn’t, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. Joel’s proximity was the only thing keeping me sane at this precise moment. I needed him close, or I was certain I would definitely lose it.

  “He stays,” I said defiantly.

  The nurse’s eyes flashed between Joel’s and mine, she pursed her lips at the fact I refused to back down before starting the tests.

  She left several minutes later after her initial run down, checking off my injuries. My left leg was broken from the impact of the car ploughing right into me. I had freaked out at that point, wondering how much of an effect the fracture would have on my dancing. It had taken a lot of calming down for me to listen to the nurse. But eventually I stopped crying long enough to hear that it was a clean break, so initially it would be straight forward in healing. It all depended on what I would be like after the cast was eventually removed, then a short course of physio would be needed, to help build the leg back up. I smiled at that part, hearing Joel’s eagerness at helping me with the exercises, one look at his face told me his intentions weren’t good, but that only made me smile harder.

  My eyes began to droop; my best efforts at disguising how tired I was became more apparent. I knew it was useless fighting the drugs, but I needed Joel close, t
o feel the security of his body against mine.

  “Iz, we can’t, I might hurt . . .” I could see his initial reluctance, but I wasn’t spending another night apart from him.

  “Joel, I need you please, don’t deny me this, it’s been so long.” I reached out to him, my eyes relaying the desperation I was feeling inside.

  His fingers swept across my cheek, his eyes looked conflicted like he was having an inner battle with himself, but I knew I would always win. I smiled when he quickly kicked off his Converse, slowly crawling in beside me. I sighed and we snuggled down, Joel looked on warily, that he wasn’t touching the wires. But right at this precise moment I wasn’t bothered, he was where I needed him to be. He moved in closer, his arm crossed over me and our fingers entwined together as exhaustion finally took over.

  Chapter 8 – Courage

  The crashing sound of metal hitting the tiled floor was enough to rip me from my sleep. I sat up in shock, quickly clutching my head as pain ripped right through every part of me. Looking around the room in a daze, I was filled with a sense of dread. The empty space where Joel’s body had been was now just a crumpled sheet. I stared at it intently. Had I imagined the whole thing? I knew the painkillers I was on were strong, but had they brought on a hallucination for me to imagine the one person I needed the most?

  Tears filled my eyes, and my body shook as a sob ripped right through me. He was never here. I had imagined the whole thing. My body craving the one thing I could no longer have.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Joel asked, rushing through the door. He quickly placed the coffee down, coming over to wrap his arms lovingly around me.

  My face crumpled even more, and I sobbed hard into his chest as all the insecurities and desperation seeped out of every pore. My fingers clung tight to him, holding him like I was never letting him go.

  He soothed and calmed me with his soft tones, whispering reassurances that I was okay, that he was here, that he would never leave me.

  When the sobs finally subsided I pulled away, trying to draw breath to at least try to explain my major freak out. “I thought I’d dreamt the whole thing.”